I Should Have Told Him
by Madzy f.k.a Hermione10
Summary: I hate doing these... Well, this is Hermi's thoughts after Harry dies before she tells him that she loves him. If you like being sad, this is for you. Please review, and don't flame- flames make me sad :(.
1. I Should Have Told Him

I Should Have Told Him.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything so don't sue me. I'm broke and can't pay anyway, so it's no use.  
  
  
I was the only one who could see the tears in his eyes. I knew he wanted to leave even less than I did. Not much. My seven years at Hogwarts had felt more like three. "It's okay, Harry," I told him. But I knew it wasn't. We had loved Hogwarts. And now it was all over. We had graduated and were at the station. We would be going different ways. And this was my last chance to tell him how much I cared for him. If I wimped out now, I'd never forgive myself. I had no reason to wimp out. Even if Harry didn't feel for me as much as I felt for him, our friendship would remain. Probably. But what if it wrecked it? I couldn't imagine not being his friend. Over the years, we'd formed a special bond. We had been so close. And I would either wreck it or change it for the better.   
I couldn't risk our precious friendship to tell him how I felt. I would tell him another day.  
"Goodbye, Herm," he said.   
"Goodbye."   
That was the last memory I had of him.  
  
I couldn't stand what had happened. I took out the letter to read for about the twentieth time in a month.  
  
Hermione-   
Oh God! Hermi, did you hear? Harry's dead! Voldemort was just too powerful for him. I still don't believe it. His funeral's in a week. I hope you'll be there.  
-Ron  
  
I couldn't believe it either. Harry was gone and I'd never see him again. My Harry. The only person I had ever loved. I had been a fool. I should have told him. I had the chance. And I stupidly blew it. I could never tell him. The boy I love so dearly. Snatched away. I couldn't stand it. It was awful how someone so special, someone loved so dearly, could be taken so fast. He was gone. I would never get the chance to tell him. Our friendship had been so precious; his presence had lit up the room. I just want to hold him. Tell him how much I love him. Then I will be okay. I was so stupid in not telling him. But he's gone and I will never be able to tell him. I wish I had told him. I should have told him. But I didn't. And now I have to live with the fact that I could have told him, but didn't and now will never again have the chance to.  
  



	2. I Should Have Told Him part 2- The Dream

My life was not worth living any more. Now that my Harry was dead, I had no reason to live either. I was thinking about killing myself. The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was the best thing to do. All my problems would go.   
Tomorrow. I decided to do it tomorrow. One more disturbed, nightmare- filled night was all the time I had. After tossing and turning for about an hour, I fell asleep.  
  
'I felt a hand on my arm. I spun around and I saw his face. His glasses, covering his green eyes. His lightning scar. His sad smile.  
Harry.  
It was all I could do to not throw my arms around him. "Harry?!? Is that- aren't you meant to be dead?" "I am, Hermi. You have to stop grieving and get on with life now. You can't keep grieving forever. It breaks my heart seeing you like this." "Harry, I can't stop. There was something I never told you." "You can tell me now, Hermi. Don't blow your last chance." Thought I had blown it. "Come on. You can do it. I know you can." I took a deep breath. "I love you, Harry. I wanted to tell you this before. But I thought it would wreck our friendship. Or maybe-" He suddenly flung his arms around me and held me too tightly for me to talk. I hugged him back, and all the tears that I'd bottled up since his death just flowed out. But these tears weren't from all the sadness and pain I'd felt. These were tears of relief and happiness. Relief to have it all out in the open. And happiness, because I could tell that Harry loved me just as much as I loved him.   
"Goodbye, Harry," I wept into his shoulder, "goodbye." "Goodbye, Hermi, I love you," he said.'  
  
I woke up. The terrible pain in my heart was gone. Now I could live. Harry knew how much I loved him at last. Now my life was worth living again.  
  
THE END.  



	3. I Should Have Told Him part 3- What coul...

I turn to you  
  
A/N- This is what I Should Have Told Him could have been if Hermione hadn't wimped out about telling Harry how she felt. A soppy songfic narrated by Harry.  
  
Other A/N- Fluff. Fluff. Fluff.  
  
When I'm lost   
In the rain  
In your eyes I know  
I'll find the light   
To light my way  
  
"WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the seventh year at Hogwarts. All but two. Hermione and I weren't screaming. She was the only one who I could turn to for advice and sympathy. She was the only one I turned to when I was scared about graduating. She was the only one who would listen. She was the only one who'd understand.  
  
And when I'm scared,   
Losing ground  
When my world is going crazy   
You can turn it all around   
And when I'm down  
You're there pushing me to the top  
You're always there giving me all you've got  
  
  
What she wouldn't understand was that I was mad about her and liked her as so much more than a friend. Much more than as a best friend. I loved Hermione more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. But she was the prettiest, smartest, nicest, funniest girl in seventh year. I had no chance. But I thought, what the heck...  
  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend  
For a love to keep me safe and warm   
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on   
For everything you do   
For everything that's true  
I turn to you  
  
I was afraid and shaking as I approached Hermione. I was about to wimp out. But then, she said, "I have to tell you something. Harry, I- I- Iloveyou."  
  
When I lose the will to win  
I just reach for you  
And I can reach the sky again  
I can do anything   
'Cause your love is so amazing  
'Cause your love inspires me  
And when I need a friend  
You're always on my side  
Giving me faith, taking me through the night  
  
Had she said what I thought she said? Had she said she loved me? Ohmmigod! I had to say, "Pardon?" She rose up to her full height and said, "Harry, I love you."  
  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend  
For a love to keep me safe and warm   
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on   
For everything you do   
For everything that's true  
I turn to you  
  
I whispered, "I love you too, Hermione." She ran into my arms and held me like she'd never let me go. I held her tightly, hoping this wasn't a dream. But I knew it wasn't.  
  
For the arms to be my shelter   
Through all the rain  
For truth that will never change  
For someone to lean on  
For a heart I can rely on through anything  
For the one who I can run to...  
  
I buried my face into her chest and closed my eyes. Then I raised my head and looked into her eyes. I knew that now was the right time. I leant even closer and kissed her.  
  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend  
For a love to keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you  
For the strength to carry on  
For everything you do  
For everything that's true  
I turn to you  
  
A few seconds later, she pulled away from me. I loved Hermione even more, if that was possible. I said, "Hermione, I have to ask you something... I love you. Will you marry me?"  
Hermione's mouth dropped open. "Yes! Thank you!! I love you too!" She ran to me and hugged me again. My future had once seemed bleak. But now that Hermione, the girl I loved, would share it with me, it seemed endlessly happy.  
  
THE END.  
  
  



End file.
